I just thought of something else.
People, generally those who aren't Asian, will always work a variation of the following into conversation with me:
"Hey, you know, I have a cousin who's Asian. Japanese, or something, I think."
That's great. Really. I'm glad your family is diverse and you're not only a bunch of melatonin-challenged folks (no offense, white people - you know I love you). But what do you want me to do with this newly found (yet undesired) piece of information? Am I supposed to throw chopsticks into the air into a celebratory moment, to commemorate the fact that you know another Asian person? Or do you expect me to say,
"Oh, what's his/her name? I probably know them." Because we all know each other, just like I know everyone in the state of New York.
Some of my favorite variations of this conversation faux pas (I have really had these said to me):
- "My niece wants to set me up with a Japanese woman .. I don't know if I'm ready, though." (After talking about his divorce)
- "My nephew studied in Japan - he really liked it. Japan's kind of close to Korea, isn't it?"
- "My wife's Japanese." (with absolutely nothing to segway into this statement)
- "I have a cousin who's South Korean. Maybe you know her?"
Please.
Stop.
For the love of God, just stop. I appreciate the attempt at making a connection, but .. what about art? Music? The Beatles? Tattoos? Anything - I really do have many other facets that have nothing to do with slanty eyes and a penchant for sticky rice.
- May (you look beyond the surface).
Showing posts with label like white on rice. Show all posts
Showing posts with label like white on rice. Show all posts
10 July 2009
09 July 2009
Something Smells Like MSG and Shame
Let me just clear the air with answers to popular questions I receive from people I encounter on a day-to-day basis.
1. No, I'm not Filipino/Chinese/Hawaiian/other remotely Asian race. I'm Korean.
2. I'm not a Communist. I was born in South Korea. The good one.
3. No, I don't speak any Korean. And if you keep trying to talk to me in it, I'm going to throw Kimchi in your face.
4. I don't speak it because my parents don't speak it. Because they're not Korean. They're Italian.
5. I was adopted.
6. That means that I was given away by my birth parents at a young age and taken in by another family.
7. I was seven months.
8. No, I don't know anything about my birth mother/father, nor do I remember anything about coming here. I was seven months old.
9. I know that I don't look anything like the rest of my family, thanks.
10. I can do manicures and pedicures only on myself. I do not want to touch your ugly ass feet.
11. I can't work at a laundromat, either.
12. Yes, thank you, I like my hair, too. Yes, it's my natural color. I don't color it to look black.
13. I don't know how I know to use chopsticks. I picked them up when I was little and instinctively knew how to use them. (No joke).
14. Yes, my body cannot properly break down alcohol, resulting in a bright red face and skin that's scorching to the touch. I know that I'm a lightweight. Give me another shot.
Also, I'd like to ask the class why people generally feel it's all right to ask any of these questions. I will literally get most of these throughout a conversation with strangers, especially at the nail salon. Oh, those Korean ladies go at it when they find out that I'm Korean, too. And then they get quiet and shameful when they find out I'm adopted (cultural thing). But really.
You wouldn't believe how many times I've gotten the, "That's your mom? You don't look alike!" reaction. I don't mind answering questions, I don't, but .. you know. There's a way to go about them without sounding like an ignorant fool.
While we're on the topic, though, you hear about how Asian people name their kids? They throw pots and pans down the stairs: ping, pong, pang!
- May (you remember that sometimes, silence is golden).
1. No, I'm not Filipino/Chinese/Hawaiian/other remotely Asian race. I'm Korean.
2. I'm not a Communist. I was born in South Korea. The good one.
3. No, I don't speak any Korean. And if you keep trying to talk to me in it, I'm going to throw Kimchi in your face.
4. I don't speak it because my parents don't speak it. Because they're not Korean. They're Italian.
5. I was adopted.
6. That means that I was given away by my birth parents at a young age and taken in by another family.
7. I was seven months.
8. No, I don't know anything about my birth mother/father, nor do I remember anything about coming here. I was seven months old.
9. I know that I don't look anything like the rest of my family, thanks.
10. I can do manicures and pedicures only on myself. I do not want to touch your ugly ass feet.
11. I can't work at a laundromat, either.
12. Yes, thank you, I like my hair, too. Yes, it's my natural color. I don't color it to look black.
13. I don't know how I know to use chopsticks. I picked them up when I was little and instinctively knew how to use them. (No joke).
14. Yes, my body cannot properly break down alcohol, resulting in a bright red face and skin that's scorching to the touch. I know that I'm a lightweight. Give me another shot.
Also, I'd like to ask the class why people generally feel it's all right to ask any of these questions. I will literally get most of these throughout a conversation with strangers, especially at the nail salon. Oh, those Korean ladies go at it when they find out that I'm Korean, too. And then they get quiet and shameful when they find out I'm adopted (cultural thing). But really.
You wouldn't believe how many times I've gotten the, "That's your mom? You don't look alike!" reaction. I don't mind answering questions, I don't, but .. you know. There's a way to go about them without sounding like an ignorant fool.
While we're on the topic, though, you hear about how Asian people name their kids? They throw pots and pans down the stairs: ping, pong, pang!
- May (you remember that sometimes, silence is golden).
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
