I'll tell you why.
FREE ICE CREAM DAY AT BEN AND JERRY'S, that's why! It was also $.50 coffee day at Dunkin Donuts! (Mind you, those USED to be free .. I guess times are tough for everyone, even the most over-populated coffee/bagels that suck/donuts/munchkins chain in New England).
So anyway, back to the free ice cream. I'm not a huge fan of the frozen dairy product. I'm just not. As a kid, my teeth were always super sensitive (thanks, non-existent pre-natal care!) and the icy delicacy made them hurt. But my eyes were always bigger than my stomach, so I'd always order it, ignoring the protests from my mom and dad that I never finished it and they didn't want to spend ___ amount of money on something that was just going to get thrown out, take a few licks, and then declare that I was done. Sometimes, I'd wait for it all to melt into a pinkish soup (I always got strawberry), slosh it around a few times with my spoon, and declare that I didn't want to drink my ice cream and didn't want any more. Of course, I purposely waited for the warmer temperature of the restaurant to start dismantling the mound of cream and sugar .. and my parents knew that.
But that's slowly started to change.
I point the accusatory finger at the four root canals I've had over the past five years (I told you, pre-natal care was virtually non-existent over in S. Korea). The front four teeth on the top of my mouth have no root in them, so I can't feel a thing. This makes it easier for me to bite into the ice cream without any kind of complaint. Sometimes, I get a little over-zealous, like today, and ... maybe I got in line a second time for a second free ice cream cone.
Maybe.
... Okay, so I did. And I pretty much looked like ^ that guy.
The first time, I got the cake batter .. which didn't taste a thing like cake. It tasted like chocolate fudge with vanilla ice cream. But I wasn't going to complain. It was free. I used to my hand as a makeshift umbrella for my ice cream cone as my friends and I stood in the rain. After we gobbled them all down, we decided to give it another shot, try another flavor. As I stood in the line, I had a huge pang of brain freeze, but decided to persevere. After all, free cone day only came around once a year .. I wasn't going to blow this chance. Not yet.
I got the Sweet Cream Cookie for the second round. Which is the Vermont company's way of saying "Cookies n' Cream." It was delicious. And I ate it just as fast as the first.
My stomach's already been pissed at me. Mind you, I was filling it up with two rounds of ice cream, which it's still not entirely used to having, AFTER already filling it with Teriyaki and Honey BBQ wings ($.25 each!) AND .. a bottle of Killian's.
Can't you just hear the angry growl?
I immediately regretted my decision for the second cone, but then, as I was curled over on the toilet, I thought to myself -- 'Fuck it. It's free cone day. If anything, you should've gotten a third.'
- May (you always feel full, in more ways than one).
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